WOMEN:MEN THE MONOGAMY CONFUSION

DISCLAIMER: This entry is based off of pure generalities, very little scientific evidence, and no expert testimony. It is purely my observations as I've seen them thus far into my inexperienced life.

When it comes to Monogamy, Why are women, seemingly, better at it than men? Why is it the same storyline over and over and over throughout the ages?

Man meets Women...

Woman and Man Fall in love...

Woman and Man get into relationship...

Man cheats on Woman....

Woman Gets Hurt and/or Leaves...

Man feels like a Bad Person. 

It is, rarely, the precious 'Happily Ever After' ending scenario, we ALL FANTASIZE and HOPE for.

WHAT WOMEN WANT
Women, ultimately, want the ONE MAN who provides them with security, protection, and self-confidence. If they find that ONE MAN, they are GOOD! In so many cases if these attributes are fulfilled the woman will be very content with only having eyes for that ONE MAN and there is a strong likelihood she will not 'step out' on her man because of sexual reasons.

WHAT MEN WANT
Men, ultimately, want a woman that can Nurture, Support, Stabilize, and Comfort. When a man finds THAT WOMAN who fulfills these attributes he feels satisfied and, in many ways, complete. However, unlike women, MEN, in most cases, DO still have eyes for other women or still may want to sleep with other women. This attribute of MEN confuses WOMEN.

THE CONFUSION

This confuses WOMEN because it comes across as ungrateful, insensitive, unappreciative, and/or disrespectful when a guy expresses interests or sleeps with someone who is not his significant other. These feelings are justified because women, usually, have dedicated a vast amount of time, energy, emotional investment, dedication and devotion to that ONE GUY. Therefore, It makes the WOMEN feel significantly LESS SPECIAL and makes her 'FEEL DUMB' when a man sexually acts out his sexual desire with another woman who is NOT his significant other.

Men are confused because we have an Innate Need/Desire(or poor excuse), to want to "Spread our Seeds" similar to other Male-Types in nature. The problem is it does not fit within western societies current paradigm of dating.  Men can love a women with all of his heart, and still feel the strong urge to copulate with other women who is not his significant other.  Grant it, women can be sexually attracted to other guys, even while she is in a relationship, but MEN have an extra impetus that makes us less able to Self'-Control our Urges. Women seem to have the stronger self control of the two Human Types.

QUESTIONS FOR SOLUTIONS
HOW DO WE RECONCILE THESE TWO FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS?

WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE SO THAT WOMEN DON'T GET THEIR FEELINGS HURT?

WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE SO MEN DON'T FEEL SEXUALLY STIFLED or BOXED IN?

IS MONOGAMY DYING?

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER:  I want to reiterate that this blog entry is VERY VERY generalized to get across a point. It does not include alternative relationships. I understand that there are Exceptions to this General Concept. I know that There are Men out there who are a "One-Women-kind-of-Guy" and there are Women out there who are a "More-Than-One-Man-Kind-Of-Girl", but I believe these are the exceptions. There is SO much more to be said about this Topic and if you have a different viewpoint...Please Share! :). I love being corrected. :) Which is where you come in.

Help me help us understand this perplexing dynamic...please weigh in with your invaluable feedback so we can figure this thing OUT! :)

Love all Y'all,
Jae Haile' Phillips - The Chief Happiness Officer CHO :)

QUIT YOUR JOB!!!:THE JOB CRISIS

MEMO:

WE ARE IN A JOB CRISIS!! THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE WORKING TOO MANY HOURS!! LIVES ARE AT STAKE!! It's so interesting to observe how we have decided to spend most of our 24 hour days working and sleeping. Here is a VERY, VERY generalized schedule of US Western Society:

7am. WAKE UP/FAMILY TIME : 2 HOURS

9am - 5pm -WORK : 8 HOURS

6pm-9 pm -  FAMILY TIME/FUN TIME : 3 HOURS

10pm-7am-SLEEP 8-10 HOURS

GENERALLY SPEAKING

5 HOURS-Family/Fun Time  vs. 8 HOURS - Work Time 

We Spend Two-Thirds(2/3) of our waking hours dedicated to another entity that is not our Family or Ourselves. We use our MOST productive and fruitful hours/energy as human beings daily usually towards something that is NOT our Dreams or Passions.  Is that wise? Is that the best use of our finite time on this RICH PLANET? Why as a society have we chosen that Work is more valuable than Family/Fun/Play time? If we were, on our deathbed will it be the Awesome Work we accomplish at Corporation A that will matter?...Perhaps...Or will it be the depth of the relationship of family and friends next you holding your hand on your death bed? Please refer to one of the most powerful articles on the web 'Top 5 Deathbed Regrets' http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2011/05/31/the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbeds/.

Now, if you love your job GREAT! Keep Working if it brings you happiness! But if you know your, not in the right fulfilling job ( and you know who you are)...it's time to get out! You can either get out impulsively with a loose plan like i did ...or you can really strategize your exit...but START NOW!

What Do you do after you quit your job?...

1. GO FOR YOU DREAMS
2. PLAY MORE
3. INCORPORATE MORE FAMILY/FRIENDS

Important Questions

1. Should Life be 60% Fun or 60% Work? 
2. It's your life...How do you want to spend it?!

YOU GOT THE MEMO

PLEASE SEND THIS TO ANYONE WITH A JOB

Safe, Fun Journeys,
Jae Haile' Phillips - The Chief Happiness Officer (CHO) :)

SELF PLEASURE YOURSELF!

Let me just keep it Straight with ya...IF YOU HAVE NOT PUT YOUR HAPPINESS AS YOUR #1 PRIORITY, then you need some Serious Re-alocation of Priorities. If you are operating from a place that does not put YOUR Happiness first, then you are NOT operating at FULL OPTIMAL Capacity. I know some of you are natural nurturing, giving, loving people and you feel it is your DUTY to give your energy. However, be careful not to give it all away. One should always have "Replenishing Time" often. Replenishing Time may include but not limited to:

1. Sit your a$$ down and do NOTHING!
2. Watch a mind-numbing, yet entertaining show on TV..i.e "Keeping up With the Kardashians"
3. Play with your children.
4. Work on your Spiritual Development (Anyway you like).
5. Engage in a Fun, Safe, Bad, Naughty Habit.(Just do it...no one needs to know)
6. Physically exert yourself in your favorite Sport (It's Common Knowledge exercise releases endorphins)
7. Play Angry Birds.
8. Go buy your favorite treat from your favorite food place (For me it's the sugarfree cheesecake brownies from Whole Foods.)
9. Turn to the Comedy Channel on your XM/Sirius Satellite Radio and LAUGH!!!
10. Read Your Horoscope!

Here are some Big Life Ways to make Happiness #1 Priority in your life:

1. Make your Passion Your Career
2. Pursue a Life Long Dream
3. Get out of a Toxic, Unhealthy, Non-Fun Relationship
4. Appreciate all that you do have
5. Contact a Family Member you haven't talked to in Years
6. Choose the Peaceful Way over the Non-Peaceful Way
7. Defend your Dreams if needed.
8. Get Out of a Boring, Unfulfilling Job/Career.
9. Book a Fun Trip
10. Run with a Business Idea

If you are NOT putting YOUR Happiness First, then that's your decision. It will be waiting for you when you decided to have it!

Happiness is a Choice, not something that pours over you one lucky day. :)

Jae Haile' Phillips - The Chief Happiness Officer (CHO)

Happiness Is The New Black

Hello Everyone,
My name is Jae Haile' Phillips and I am THE CHIEF HAPPINESS OFFICER. If you haven't notice Happiness is making a comeback! It seems to me that more and more people are deciding to do what makes them happy FIRST. People are starting to make Happiness a priority. This is great news for the whole world. Approaching this from the most logical way, if more people choose happiness then more people will be happy and the Whole World would become happier EXPONENTIALLY!!! That's just the natural sequence of events. So what can you contribute to the happiness QUOTIENT of the Globe? :

10 Things That Add Happiness To Someone's Day or Your Day:

1. Genuinely open and hold the door for someone with a smile :)
2. Compliment someone on an OBVIOUSLY NICE Haircut :)
3. Compliment someone on some COOL pair of shoes or earrings. 
4. Ask someone to help carry their bags and really alot several minutes in your day to do it just in case they say 'Yes'. 
5. Pay for Someones Water or Ice Tea behind you in line at the Convenient Store.
6. 'Like' a cool pic or Status on Someone's Facebook Account.
7. Dance in public so people can smile or laugh at you!
8. Have "Compliment Hour" where you give out compliments for a WHOLE HOUR straight.
9. Skip instead of walking and Skip instead of running.
10. Shave a 1/2 HOUR off of Work each day and increase it from there.(for your health's sake).

Our health is DIRECTLY linked to our Happiness. The more we laugh and surround ourselves with positivity the stronger our immune system gets! Try these helpful hints for you...and I Promise your Happy Meter in life will Go UP!!! Hey, If I'm Wrong, go back to crabbiness. ;) I'll see you where the grass is GREENER :) 

Jae Haile' Phillips - The Chief Happiness Officer (CHO)